Academic Rants

The background: My old PhD supervisor invites me to teach her MA class and I agree - for the experience in the absence of payment. The class goes really well and I get lots of great feedback from the students who wonder why there is nothing about trans issues on their entire 'Gender and Sexuality' program. I present this dilemma to said supervisor who agrees that it's a shame but isn't willing to put her money where her mouth is. This is her advice to me after my suggestion to create a 'trans studies' stream within her module:


Hi Acorn,

With every semester that passes since the awarding of your PhD, prospective employers will have imagined that you’ve been actively applying for academic posts. What perhaps you don’t realize is this—there’s a kind of hidden sell-by date. Academics will recognize that there aren’t many academic jobs going round, but this is an unforgiving profession—and if you don’t start getting serious about an academic post, the difference between the date in which you apply for a job and the date of the awarding of the PhD will begin to send off alarm bells. People will notice that gap and ask (not you—but themselves in the shortlisting meetings), what’s wrong with this candidate? Of course you can explain to them what you’ve explained to me—but as I’ve said, this is a tough and unforgiving profession. No one is interested in your personal circumstances. (I could perhaps explain this better in person.) What I am trying to say is that the clock is ticking if you have real ambitions to work in a university.

You are a highly intelligent and highly motivated young academic—eventually you could land a job at a leading research institution. At the very least, you could land a job at some decent university.

No academic has the luxury of selecting where they want to live. Someone once asked me ‘how did you decide where you wanted to live’--and my response was this: university teaching possibilities made that decision for me. I would never have opted to move to Florida, where I endured years at a horrible southern baptist university, until I landed a job with the State University of New York—again, another place where I never imagined teaching...

This is about risk and drive. It may be the case that you imagine your partner will not be accommodated in places where you get these jobs, but if the university wants you badly enough, things can happen. That’s part of the negotiating process. You absolutely must stay active and start getting out articles and make sure your book is being circulated at university presses.

The best you could hope for in the local area is the odd module from time to time. There are all sorts of prejudices in academe—and I’ve always warned students that your PhD will always look slightly less sexy here than elsewhere.

The proposal you suggest in Trans Studies at the University is interesting, but...it is unlikely that anyone here will go for this in a big way. The grant ventures that you suggest would be plausible if there was an academic on staff at the university with precisely these research interests, with the time, commitment and vision to drive these forward. Most researchers are already working in their own areas.

What you need to realize is that you must start applying for each and every academic job that looks plausible anywhere in the country, but also abroad. Even if you don’t decide, for whatever reason, to take that job, you will have been through the interview process—and each interview experience is important in helping you perform better in that setting.

When I completed my PhD I applied for about 35-40 jobs—this is what you should be doing. Scouring the www.jobs.ac.uk and THES. Nothing is going to be handed to you on a plate—you’ve got to do the footwork and hustle.

Remember—you don’t actually have to take the job, but getting an offer may help you to figure out if you have other life options in how you work out the day to day arrangements for the care of your partner.

I believe that you are far too talented to let the possibility of an academic job slip through your fingers.

Prof. Oak

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And this is my reply:

Dear Prof. Oak,

I appreciate where you're coming from but I feel that I must clarify my position with all of this. It sounds like you and I have very different expectations of academia. Rather than viewing the completion of a PhD as a means of securing a foothold on the academic rung, I instead see it as a means of sharpening my skills as an independent researcher and writer. At this stage, my relationship to academia exists in conjunction with my capacity as a trainer, researcher and consultant in other realms - ie the public sector, local Government, NGOs and other Independent bodies. At the core of each involvement is a commitment to advocacy, education, equalities and the transfer of knowledge. In other words, my passion for academic research and teaching finds its equivalent in the undertaking of more 'hands on' campaign, research and consultancy work. Whilst academia will always be a part of my life, I see my involvement on a more arms-length basis - ie contributing to specific research projects, as a guest lecturer, sessional tutor etc rather than securing a tenured position.

Since finishing the PhD, I have set up as a freelance researcher, trainer and consultant and am in the process of launching my own research organisation - Inter Alia - with a good friend and colleague. We've have been working with the Equality and Diversity Office of Oak Uni. to deliver training and a resource package on trans issues, advising staff (HR, student support, academic etc) about best practice when working with trans staff and students (to be implemented next year on a trial basis). I'm also currently undertaking research for an education consultant in London, looking into practical ways of implementing the equalities schemes in SEN schools across the UK. I've recently been in contact with a private consultancy organisation about undertaking freelance work in the area of NHS consultations. Applying my research to the public sector is something I'm hoping to develop over the next few years.

I've submitted over twenty job applications since graduating - post-doc fellowships and lecturing posts in arts/humanities and the social/political sciences at both traditional and ex-polytechnic Unis; research and policy work for the EHRC, local councils, NGOs, civil service, charities etc; research and development within community-led and arts organisations etc. In the meantime, I've managed to secure casual/part-time work in the area of website design, student support research, and campaigns/social enterprise research.

I'm currently applying to undertake a post-doc fellowship at a Swedish Uni in the area of feminist/queer/trans research. I've also just submitted an application to the 'Transgender Council of Europe' to undertake human rights violations research in the area of 'Trans People and the British Criminal Justice System'. In addition, I'm in the process of finalising a research application to the ESRC in the area of 'Trans People and Ageing', looking at the experiences of and attitudes towards gender variant people in a social/residential care setting in the UK.

So, as you can see, I've been far from inactive. The path I've chosen to tread is equally as challenging as the path you've taken and I too will make sacrifices - financial wealth and academic status etc - but, my heartfelt commitment to social change drives me forwards.

Best,
Acorn

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I'm still waiting for the 'thank you' from Prof. Oak for doing one of her classes for free! Watch this space...

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Yesterday marked the 3rd vigil to take place in Manchester in remembrance of all those trans lives lost to transphobia. It was a sombre night as we paid our respects to all those violently victimised just for being who they are. Name-after-hundreth name was read giving the huge scale of stigma and hate directed at trans people world-wide (most of whom were trans women of colour) and those are just the ones we know about. After the service, it was good to dethaw and convert the anger and upset into solidarity during the afer-gathering in Taurus bar - here's a short clip to mark the occasion:

Progress...Let's Hope

In response to Goat's beautiful recent post, I've just found out that:

The Steering Committee of Transgender Europe lends its support to the
joint statement of May 28, 2008 issued by the American organizations
National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE), the Transgender Law
and Policy Institute (TLPI), the Transgender Law Center (TLC) and the
Transgender Youth Family Allies (TYFA). After meeting with the APA,
these four groups reported that “[they] are confident that a fair,
unbiased review of current knowledge can result in a DSM-V that can
move society toward a more rational and humane understanding of
transgender people.” The review process will go on for several years,
and the APA welcomes suggestions from lay persons as well as mental
health professionals in this process.

Transgender Europe expressed in its press release after the Berlin
Council:

Despite much scientific controversy, forms of transgender continue to
be listed in the DSM IV of the American Psychological Association
(APA), just as homosexuality once was, and in the ICD-10 of the World
Health Organization (WHO) as psychological disorders. DSM and ICD are
guideline manuals used in healthcare to standardise the definitions of
what constitutes mental illness. Transgender Europe (TGEU) emphatically
refuses this pathologisation and will assist the next reformulation of
the DSM in a critical manner.”

We, the Steering Committee, are firmly of the conviction that the
stigmatization, which in part is grounded in the mistaken assumption
that gender variance is prima facie a medical disorder, is
discriminatory. Furthermore, we cite the Yogyakarta Principles, Article
18:

No person may be forced to undergo any form of medical or psychological
treatment, procedure, testing or be confined to a medical facility,
based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Notwithstanding any
classifications to the contrary, a person’s sexual orientation and
gender identity are not, in and of themselves, medical conditions and
are not to be treated, cured or suppressed.

A number of national governments and international bodies have passed
resolutions in support of these principles: the European Parliament,
the Council of Europe, Organization of American States.

Any revision of the DSM and the ICD must be carried out with full
compliance to the Yogyakarta Principles.

Vienna, Nov 1st 2008

the Steering Committee of Transgender Europe

Let's talk about race

Writing my thesis, I examined my racial privilege from an assumption that I was white British, simple. But now, since a number of conversations with friends of mixed heritage/race background, I'm not so sure. Up until quite recently I had just assumed that I was white British because I was born in England and had light skin - I didn't know anything about my family heritage. But now, the more I'm read as male, the more my other 'differences' show and creates a recognition from men of colour (specifically Asian or Middle Eastern men). The guy at the cornerstore, for eg, regularly gives me discounts and tries to bond with me about being mixed heritage because he sees me as similar to him - he's from Syria with an Italian ancestry. However, most of the time - and especially by white British people - I'm seen as white and, as a result, I experience racial privilege - I assimilate on account of the pervasive white-washing of 'difference'.

The reason my friend Rocky originally got in touch with me was because he saw a photo of me on the XX Boys website and recognised me as a 'brother' and felt like I was family. When we met for the first time, we had lots of conversations about the need to move away from white/of colour binary (an assumption I make in my thesis) to notice the nuances of race/ethnicity. It was him looking at a photo of my mum and saying 'she ain't white, she black' - ie despite her olive skin, she has dark features - which got me getting back in touch with my aunt and asking more questions (my aunt ignored me for a while when she found out that me - her 'niece' - wanted to be a guy). Rocky has Sicilian and Maori make-up and gets recognised as a brother by aborigini people in Australia but white-washed by white folk. I guess I'm starting to feel the same way as my experiences accumulate. But it's weird because I have no concete proof - I can only go by my mum's appearances (Italian, Middle Eastern looking), my aunt's information (yes - Eastern European Jewishness, Italian, possibly Syrian...) and finding finding fragments of old photos in an effort to piece my family ancestry and my own racial heritage together...an interesting process which is not so straight-foward.

Madness

10 years old and sitting on the back steps of the Frank-the-baker's waiting for mum to break for lunch, chatting with Emma - the new girl - about MADNESS, my favourite band! She's just promised to take me to Hyde Park to see them play. Excited, I rush through the bakery and wait patiently for mum to finish selling bacon butties and cream cakes to the ENDLESS queue of hungry workmen. I can't wait to ask her if I can go. Mistake - I get roped into washing up ENDLESS dishes. It's not all bad - there's a huge cream cake waiting for me when I'm done. And, even better, MADNESS is blasting on the radio - 'Baggy Trousers' - my favourite. It's my lucky day!!!

EELS! EELS! EEELS! EEELS!

When she came up to visit, my mum watched 'The Mighty Boosh' (British comedy show) for the first time. She particularly enjoyed watching the green hiker - a crooked cockney character of a bygone era - sing about eels:

"Eels up inside ya
findin an entrance where they can
eels up inside ya
finding an entrance where they can
Boring through your mind, through your tummy, through your anus, eels!"

Mum was so impressed that she went out and bought herself an 'eels' badge (yes, it's a badge that says 'eels') and now wears it proudly around her neighbourhood, taking impish delight in thrusting her chest into the faces of the WI women and shouting 'eels!' in their faces in her loud, brash cockney best.

As a little girl, mum would love nothing more than to play with eels in the bath. "We was poor, we had no toys, we took 'em from the cook pot when mum weren't looking". This, and the fact that mum was born and bred on Walworth Road in South London, was recently revealed to me after years of questions. Mum's guarded about her childhood. When I asked if she'd ever go back to where she was born - Elephant-and-Castle (now famous for the garish pink elephant-topped shopping centre) she replied "What's to go back to? I'd rather leave it all behind" Too many memories, better to forget.

Her chipper cockney accent could not be erased so easily. Looking for work at 14 she soon learnt that if she wanted a job in the City then she must speak proper - lose the sing-song slang of her youth and flatten the vowels. She learnt to be ashamed of being cockney. Years later and she's baffled: "All the REAL cockneys don't sound it and all posh kids want it". When speaking with strangers, mum puts on her best telephone voice. But she can't always control it - it slips out when she least expects it - effin and blindin when she's barmin (mad) or London callin when she's bawlin. In other words, it eels it when she feels it.

"I'm not an intellectual - I'm not posh!"

So my dad says to me on the phone last night. Apparently, he was called 'an intellectual' by some new 'friends' (my dad, "the hermit", doesn't have any friends...so he says...).

"But", I say, "you're a thinker".
"Maybe so, but I'm not one of THEM".
"Eh?"
"I mean, they're in a different league aren't they - I used to work for people who fitted the description of 'intellectual' when I was a lap-dog at the library. I was always aware of the difference between me and THEM. I just didn't fit into THAT atmosphere - didn't have the same opportunities, background, status, wealth etc. I always felt like a fraud, like I was gonna get found out."

When I was a kid, my dad would excitedly tell me every time he passed as 'Dr' at work - how his initials 'D.R' were misread by the 'elite', as he called them, and that, as a result, he was temporarily accorded membership to 'the old boys club' at an office meeting - offered a cigar rather than told to make tea.

My dad - quiet, gentle, polite, thoughtful, curious, inquisitive, bright etc - fits the bill. In a parallel universe - one in which he stayed on at school rather than leave at 14, got some qualifications rather than work a string of dead-end jobs, went to university rather than support his single mum....maybe in THAT life, he might have become an intellectual.

Being a proud man, my dad doesn't talk much about growing up poor - about his mum working all hours at the factory to single-handedly raise 5 kids, getting teased for having no clothes and being forced to wear his sister's hand-me-downs, having frequent colds from leaky shoes and threadbare jumper and no coat, going hungry. He still has the only Christmas present he received as a boy - a shrivelled-up orange which he keeps tucked away in his bedside drawer.

However, unlike my mum (more on her later!), my dad would never say he was working class. but neither would he say that he was aspiring middle class (whatever that means). He just notices differences.

I wanted to ask my dad whether he thought I was an intellectual. I was too embarrassed. Me - the Dr of the family, the second to go to university (my sister was the first) and the first to do a PhD. Sometimes, I feel a class gulf between me and my parents. I've had all the opportunities they never had. And yet, I also feel set apart from most academics I know - I feel ambivalent about being a Dr (how ridiculous a notion), 'mummy' and 'daddy' didn't pay for me to go to uni (I was lucky enough to get a string of means-tested scholarships) and I don't have the right connections.

On paper, I should fit and yet I don't. Like father like son, I feel like a fraud.