Writing my thesis, I examined my racial privilege from an assumption that I was white British, simple. But now, since a number of conversations with friends of mixed heritage/race background, I'm not so sure. Up until quite recently I had just assumed that I was white British because I was born in England and had light skin - I didn't know anything about my family heritage. But now, the more I'm read as male, the more my other 'differences' show and creates a recognition from men of colour (specifically Asian or Middle Eastern men). The guy at the cornerstore, for eg, regularly gives me discounts and tries to bond with me about being mixed heritage because he sees me as similar to him - he's from Syria with an Italian ancestry. However, most of the time - and especially by white British people - I'm seen as white and, as a result, I experience racial privilege - I assimilate on account of the pervasive white-washing of 'difference'.
The reason my friend Rocky originally got in touch with me was because he saw a photo of me on the XX Boys website and recognised me as a 'brother' and felt like I was family. When we met for the first time, we had lots of conversations about the need to move away from white/of colour binary (an assumption I make in my thesis) to notice the nuances of race/ethnicity. It was him looking at a photo of my mum and saying 'she ain't white, she black' - ie despite her olive skin, she has dark features - which got me getting back in touch with my aunt and asking more questions (my aunt ignored me for a while when she found out that me - her 'niece' - wanted to be a guy). Rocky has Sicilian and Maori make-up and gets recognised as a brother by aborigini people in Australia but white-washed by white folk. I guess I'm starting to feel the same way as my experiences accumulate. But it's weird because I have no concete proof - I can only go by my mum's appearances (Italian, Middle Eastern looking), my aunt's information (yes - Eastern European Jewishness, Italian, possibly Syrian...) and finding finding fragments of old photos in an effort to piece my family ancestry and my own racial heritage together...an interesting process which is not so straight-foward.
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5 comments:
keep talking!
thanks for this. my response in the past to "white-appearing" folk who lay claim to some mixed-heritage has been to wonder if they (to quote another brilliant blogger) are wearing their marginality like a coat, ready to take it off if the room gets too hot.
folks raised as white who realise/decide that they've native canadian ancestry, for example. sometimes they're the same people who claim that they're working class because they've stopped accepting money from their rich parents. i have had occasion to question their motives. to question how they wield this new mixed-heritage identity.
now i wonder how much of that response in me also has to do with my own tendency to whitewash.
just because i perceive you as white, does that mean you carry white privilege?
can something like white privilege be an overwhelmingly pervasive and powerful and nebulous at the same time?
...am i realising yet again that the world's more complicated than i thought?
yep.
thanks, acorn.
let's keep talking about this.
hey Goat,
i deleted my previous reply to this because and am still struggling to articulate my thoughts but i'll give it another go...
thanks for starting this really interesting and necessary conversation. i have the same reservations about laying claim to marginality as a means of evading responsibility of privilege. the simple fact is that, white-washed or not, i do carry white privilege. to say that i don't would be ridiculous. i think that white privilege is a good deal about perception and when i go onto the street i am perceived as a young white boy most of the time. getting read as male increases my light-skinned privilege, despite what my ethnic heritage may be. i guess i feel the same about my relationship to class - with my southern university-clipped accent, i pass as middle class and, being virtually institutionalised, i am middle class to a lot of people even if my own experiences of class are mixed. i guess what i'm trying to say is that self-identity and affiliation is not always the same as other people's readings and, in terms of privilege, i think it's a mixed bag but that how you are perceived (and, as a result, treated) by others is an important aspect of privilege. that make sense? just some thoughts...let's talk more xx
*ears pricked up*
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